Am I tough/strong?

As some close friend know, I am recently down and sad, bothered by some personal relationship issue. Because of this, I was surprised to know that my image in their mind is "I am always tough, strong and optimistic."

Maybe I am like that in work, but not in personal. If you have gone through my life and experience, studied at few different outstation schools, exposed to US working culture for a year, get your hands on in few new work projects, you probably will have similar working attitude like I do.

But in personal I am not as tough as that in work. I can get hurt easily. When I am hurt/down, I can't stop revealing sad feeling from my face except stop talking. I have to leave the scene as soon as possible, if not I will collapse. Sometimes I maybe even cry, just you have not no chance to see because you do not live in the same room with me. I felt so nervous and don't know what to do when my car broke down in the middle of the road once.

Thanks to the happy mindset book I'd read, I maybe becoming more optimistic and be more happy, which make me have more courage and be more positive in taking certain action in personal life. But still, I am not as tough as you thought in personal. I might be feeling better today, but tomorrow it will still come out in my mind. I always need to go through few cycles to calm down or recover. A rose could be very pretty but it can't last a thunder storm. I am the rose then, although I am not pretty :p (Oh yeah, after I becoming more happy from those book reading, I like to tell jokes, cold or warm :) )

Maybe I grew up almost alone at home, thus not very good in expressing my personal feeling and thoughts. The public speaking class does improved my presentation skill but not my personal expression skills. I am actually a quiet person, I am not as friendly as you might thought, unless I feel comfort in that environment e.g. in company or there is someone that I trusted is around. I just have to learn, more.

Surprised to read this kind of personal blog posting in this blog? Just wish to share, a person might not be as what you'd thought. Don't judge a book by its cover. It is always good to verify queries with the owner. Avoid making conclusion/decision from what you heard/feel/assume. There is always high price to pay if you do so, like what I am paying now.

'Ganbatei, MK'
'Ganbatei, my friend'