收到这个转载电邮，觉得挺有意思的。共勉之 :)
當您扣錯第一顆扣子時，千錯萬錯都先指責別人或者指責事情的不對，還是真正用心找出原因來解決呢？被狗吠的人，不一定是賊； 留長鬍子，也不一定是藝術家。 但有了「 偏」見，就會把「 人」看「 扁」了?
每星期五晚上，小吳都開車送太太到火車站搭車，去探生病的媽媽。十分鐘後，小吳妹妹所乘的火車就到站。他接她回家幫忙他們料理家務。 每逢星期日整個程式正好相反。小吳妹妹的火車開出十分鐘後，他太太才到。有一晚，他的妹妹剛走，小吳正等著接太太的車，一個站務員慢慢走過來。他笑容詭異地說:「先生，你真有辦法。難道你不怕有一天會被她們逮到嗎?」
和別人相處時，我們都慣於戴上一副「 先入為主」的眼睛，將別人放進一個「 框框」裡，再用這個框框解釋此人的角色與行為他是好人、他是壞人，他好像有外遇、她很愛佔小便宜...我們甚至把想法投射到對方身上，以致經常偏離事實真相。
也許你也聽過這則故事...
有兩個女人，坐在同一張桌子喝飲料。其中一個，把雨傘靠在桌邊，另一個在喝完飲料時，迷迷糊糊的，順手拿起雨傘就走。雨傘的主人大聲叫說:「喂!妳拿了我的雨傘。」前面那個女人一臉尷尬，紅著臉向對方道歉，說是忘了自已沒帶傘，一時誤拿。這件事，讓她想起需要買把雨傘，順便也買一把給孩子，於是她便去買了兩把。回家的路上，她正巧又跟那位之前被她誤拿雨傘的女人坐在同一輛公車上。那女人注視著那兩把雨傘，說:「我看妳今天的成績還不錯嘛!」
人們在判斷別人時常有一種傾向，就是把人概分為「好的」或「不好的」兩部分。當一個人留給人的印象是「的」時，人們就會把他的言行舉止用「好的」角度去解釋，反之， 如果一個人被歸於「不好的」的印象時，那麼，一切「不好的」看法都會加在他的身上。這種現象稱之為「月暈效應」。意即當人們看到月亮的同時，周邊的光環也會被注意到。當一個人的「印象確立」之後，人們就會自動「印象概推」 ( Halo Effect) 將第一印象的認知與對方的言行聯想在一起。
成見」能有多荒謬?
有一名年輕猶太人和老猶太人坐在同一列火車上。
年輕猶太人問老猶太人說:「先生，請問現在幾點了 ?」老猶太人卻默不作聲。
「對不起! 先生，請問現在幾點了 ?」老猶太人還是不答
「先生很抱歉打擾您了! 但是我真的想要知道現在是幾點鐘。你為什麼不回答我呢 ?」
老猶太人答道:
「 孩子，下一站就是最後一站了。而我一點都不認識你這個陌生人。如果我現在回答你，依照猶太人的傳統，我就必須邀請你到我家坐。你長得很英俊，而我有一個很漂亮的女兒。你們倆一定會愛上對方，然後你就會把我的女兒娶走。你告訴我，我為什麼要一個連手錶都買不起的女婿呢? 」
幾乎每一分鐘、每一件事，我們都依憑著過去所得的知識、經驗在作判斷。
比方，我們常聽說(或認為):
「生意人都很狡猾」、「女人都是爛駕駛」、「男人都很不衛生」、「 猶太人都很吝嗇」、「 美國人都很浪漫」 ........等等。
此後我們心中就會建立一套刻板的印象，並用這個「 成見」去解釋或評斷週遭的人事物。
一對男女若看到一個男人拿把花走在街上，女的可能會想:「 哦 !他真體貼、好浪漫。 」男的也許會認為，「 天啊 !我看這傢伙完了 」
有一則故事，大意是這樣的:
有一位先生初到美國不久，某個早上到公園散步，看到一些白人坐在草坪上聊天、曬太陽，他心想: 「美國人生活真是悠閒，有錢又懂得享受生活。」走了不久，又看到有幾個黑人也悠閒地坐在草坪的另一邊，這位先生不禁想到，「唉!黑人失業的問題還真是嚴重，這些人大概都在領社會救濟金過生活。」
艾斯曾有這麼一段妙喻，
當你暗夜走在街上，看見某扇窗亮了一盞燈。也許有人會說:「這一定是母親為還沒有回家的子女在禱告」也有人會說:「老天，一定有人在偷情。」哈茲立特有句話:「 偏見是無知的孩子。」說得一點都不錯，「 人」「 扁」為 偏，人一旦有了偏見，就會把「 人」看「 扁」、看「 偏」了。
大多數的人並不瞭解你，你也不完全瞭解這些人，既然如此，我們就不該輕易地去論斷他人，當然也不必在意別人的論斷。因為，每個人都可能扣錯第一顆釦子，不是嗎?
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Friday, April 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
二十年後你會比現在更幸福嗎？
I found this forwarded email is meaningful. Thanks to WH for the sharing.
記得小時候，我很憧憬長大。 因為我覺得等長大了，父母就再也管不著我了。 可以想喝汽水就喝汽水，中午想不睡覺就不睡覺，那一定很幸福。
等我真的長大，父母也的確管不著了，可是當初認為的幸福並沒有到來。 因為，雖然沒有人再管我喝汽水，但我發現當初那個理想太微不足道。而且，在得到這個微不足道的自由的同時，又有了新的更大的不自由。比如說：八點上班，哪怕遲到5分鐘，老闆也要給臉色看。而且那個臉色，比小時候父母的難看得多。
於是，我反而開始懷念小時候那無憂無慮的生活，覺得那似乎才是幸福。同時，又開始了新的憧憬：什麼時候才能實行彈性的工時，那一定是很幸福的，可以想睡到幾點就睡到幾點，再不用被鬧鈴驚醒好夢，再不用連臉都不洗，牙沒刷，就往辦公室狂奔。
若干年後，終於實現了彈性的工時。不僅如此，隨著自己混成資深人員，可以想幾點上班就幾點上班，哪怕在家辦公也沒人說你。可是我發現，當初期望的幸福又跑得無影無踪。因為，隨著年齡的增長，沒有鬧鈴，早上也沒了睡懶覺的福氣。甚至天不亮就醒來，無所事事的瞪眼到天明。雖然沒人再要求你，可是按時起床，工作卻成了習慣，彈性工時與幸福哪有什麼關係！
回憶幾十年的工作經歷，我還發現，每換到另一個單位時，都會有一個感覺令人討厭的主管，往往都會找我的麻煩。於是，每每總是希望這個主管調走，並固執地認為：只要這個人調走，工作就會很開心。有幾次，他不走我走，此處不留爺，自有留爺處。可是，每一次都會發現，無論到哪，各形各色的和我作對的主管都如影隨形。於是又開始憧憬：哪天媳婦熬成了婆，到我能說了算，不用再受主管的氣，那一定很幸福。
若干年後，終於熬出了頭：自己當上高級主管，可以頤指氣使，讓別人看我的臉色了。可是我發現，當初渴望的幸福還是沒有來。因為，雖然沒有人再對你說三道四，但是，怎麼什麼責任都要我負，大事小情都要我拍板，心怎麼這麼累呢？而且，周邊的人怎麼都變得如此虛偽，自己放個屁，別人都會說香。
於是，天天開會，應酬，聽匯報，佈置工作，忙得像個陀螺一樣的我，又開始新的憧憬：哪天能夠活得悠哉遊哉，不用再管那麼多事，想釣魚就釣魚，想打牌就打牌，不用再看那麼多虛偽的面孔，聽那些肉麻的假話，看那些枯燥的檔案，那才是幸福。
光陰似箭，轉眼退休了，真的再沒有人要我負任何責任，當初煩人的電話也不再打來，門庭也真的冷落到鞍馬稀，所有時間都屬於了自己，我卻發現，當初渴望的幸福哪裡是什麼幸福，簡直就是人走茶涼的冷落和無盡的孤獨。
於是，一個人坐在殘陽下，開始思考人生：我這一生，從小到大，從大到老，都覺得如果怎樣，明天就會得到幸福，可是為何在一個個願望實現後，幸福依舊沒有來？這時候，才算真正明白了一句話：“過去心不可得，未來心不可得。“ 一切其實盡在當下。 如果你覺得現在不幸福，總覺得改變了才是幸福，或者過去了的才是幸福，那麼恐怕一輩子都難有真正的幸福感！
不是嗎？未來的還沒有來，過去的已經過去。
如果每一個當下我們不抓住，不去認真對待，總想著看不見的明天或已經遠去的昨天，我們就會永遠生活在緊張和失落中。隨著生命一點點溜走，到頭來留下的只能是三個字：“空悲切“。
所以，如果想知道20年後會不會幸福，就個人心態而言，看看現在的狀態就可以知道：如果你當下感到幸福，20年後也應該會幸福，如果你有太多的東西寄於明天，20年後，這些願望無論是否實現，你都可能不會感到真正的幸福。
道理很簡單，慾望從來不是幸福的源，而是一切痛苦的根。一個慾望滿足了，馬上會產生新的，就像我，滿足了可以隨便喝汽水的慾望，又會產生睡懶覺慾望，周而復始，無窮無盡。
所以，牢記上述教訓吧，幸福就在當下，就在你手中的每一天，甚至每一刻，而絕不在過去或者未來。
記得小時候，我很憧憬長大。 因為我覺得等長大了，父母就再也管不著我了。 可以想喝汽水就喝汽水，中午想不睡覺就不睡覺，那一定很幸福。
等我真的長大，父母也的確管不著了，可是當初認為的幸福並沒有到來。 因為，雖然沒有人再管我喝汽水，但我發現當初那個理想太微不足道。而且，在得到這個微不足道的自由的同時，又有了新的更大的不自由。比如說：八點上班，哪怕遲到5分鐘，老闆也要給臉色看。而且那個臉色，比小時候父母的難看得多。
於是，我反而開始懷念小時候那無憂無慮的生活，覺得那似乎才是幸福。同時，又開始了新的憧憬：什麼時候才能實行彈性的工時，那一定是很幸福的，可以想睡到幾點就睡到幾點，再不用被鬧鈴驚醒好夢，再不用連臉都不洗，牙沒刷，就往辦公室狂奔。
若干年後，終於實現了彈性的工時。不僅如此，隨著自己混成資深人員，可以想幾點上班就幾點上班，哪怕在家辦公也沒人說你。可是我發現，當初期望的幸福又跑得無影無踪。因為，隨著年齡的增長，沒有鬧鈴，早上也沒了睡懶覺的福氣。甚至天不亮就醒來，無所事事的瞪眼到天明。雖然沒人再要求你，可是按時起床，工作卻成了習慣，彈性工時與幸福哪有什麼關係！
回憶幾十年的工作經歷，我還發現，每換到另一個單位時，都會有一個感覺令人討厭的主管，往往都會找我的麻煩。於是，每每總是希望這個主管調走，並固執地認為：只要這個人調走，工作就會很開心。有幾次，他不走我走，此處不留爺，自有留爺處。可是，每一次都會發現，無論到哪，各形各色的和我作對的主管都如影隨形。於是又開始憧憬：哪天媳婦熬成了婆，到我能說了算，不用再受主管的氣，那一定很幸福。
若干年後，終於熬出了頭：自己當上高級主管，可以頤指氣使，讓別人看我的臉色了。可是我發現，當初渴望的幸福還是沒有來。因為，雖然沒有人再對你說三道四，但是，怎麼什麼責任都要我負，大事小情都要我拍板，心怎麼這麼累呢？而且，周邊的人怎麼都變得如此虛偽，自己放個屁，別人都會說香。
於是，天天開會，應酬，聽匯報，佈置工作，忙得像個陀螺一樣的我，又開始新的憧憬：哪天能夠活得悠哉遊哉，不用再管那麼多事，想釣魚就釣魚，想打牌就打牌，不用再看那麼多虛偽的面孔，聽那些肉麻的假話，看那些枯燥的檔案，那才是幸福。
光陰似箭，轉眼退休了，真的再沒有人要我負任何責任，當初煩人的電話也不再打來，門庭也真的冷落到鞍馬稀，所有時間都屬於了自己，我卻發現，當初渴望的幸福哪裡是什麼幸福，簡直就是人走茶涼的冷落和無盡的孤獨。
於是，一個人坐在殘陽下，開始思考人生：我這一生，從小到大，從大到老，都覺得如果怎樣，明天就會得到幸福，可是為何在一個個願望實現後，幸福依舊沒有來？這時候，才算真正明白了一句話：“過去心不可得，未來心不可得。“ 一切其實盡在當下。 如果你覺得現在不幸福，總覺得改變了才是幸福，或者過去了的才是幸福，那麼恐怕一輩子都難有真正的幸福感！
不是嗎？未來的還沒有來，過去的已經過去。
如果每一個當下我們不抓住，不去認真對待，總想著看不見的明天或已經遠去的昨天，我們就會永遠生活在緊張和失落中。隨著生命一點點溜走，到頭來留下的只能是三個字：“空悲切“。
所以，如果想知道20年後會不會幸福，就個人心態而言，看看現在的狀態就可以知道：如果你當下感到幸福，20年後也應該會幸福，如果你有太多的東西寄於明天，20年後，這些願望無論是否實現，你都可能不會感到真正的幸福。
道理很簡單，慾望從來不是幸福的源，而是一切痛苦的根。一個慾望滿足了，馬上會產生新的，就像我，滿足了可以隨便喝汽水的慾望，又會產生睡懶覺慾望，周而復始，無窮無盡。
所以，牢記上述教訓吧，幸福就在當下，就在你手中的每一天，甚至每一刻，而絕不在過去或者未來。
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Balls of life
This is a forwarded email from a friend. Enjoy :)
------------------------------------
30 second Speech by Bryan Dyson (CEO of Coca Cola)
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you ' re keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back..
But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it."
“WORK EFFICIENTLY DURING OFFICE HOURS AND LEAVE ON TIME. GIVE THE REQUIRED TIME TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS & HAVE PROPER REST.”
------------------------------------
30 second Speech by Bryan Dyson (CEO of Coca Cola)
"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you ' re keeping all of these in the Air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back..
But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it."
“WORK EFFICIENTLY DURING OFFICE HOURS AND LEAVE ON TIME. GIVE THE REQUIRED TIME TO YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS & HAVE PROPER REST.”
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
An umbrella
Get this from a forwarded email. I pass by a shop selling umbrella everyday. The umbrella looks like a normal black colour umbrella until you open it, there are painting of blue sky and clouds inside the umbrella.
In our life, there could be more raining day, cloudy day than sunny day. I can't change the weather, but I can decide on my 'mind weather'. I hope you will have all year long sunny day inside your mind from now on :)
[TH, if you are reading, I am thinking of your umbrella song in KBox :D ]
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bring happiness home 帶快樂回家
Get this forwarded email, found it interesting :)
--------
I visit a friend at his house. On the main entrance, there is a little board saying "Before entering, take off the worries, bring happiness home"
After I got into the house, the family members there really were happy. The environment is so peace and warm. I asked about the board. The hostess told me the story. On one day when she went home, she saw her tiring and anxious face in the lift mirror. She was shocked. She asked herself what will be her husband and children reaction if they ever see this face. She also asked herself how would she react if she see similar face of others. Then she thought about the children and husband silence during dinner...On the next day, she make the board and hang it on the door to remind herself.
Apparently, the board remind not only her but the whole family. Ever since then, the family relationship has improved and more happy.
What a cute lady.
There is always just a tiny cross line between good vs bad, lucky vs unlucky, happy vs worry. It is all about the thought, if we change our mind, the world will be different.
If we change our mindset, the altitude will changed, then the habit will changed, lastly our life will be changed.
到一個朋友家去做客，出了電梯， 見門口赫然掛了一塊小木牌， 上書：「進門前，請脫去煩惱；回家時，帶快樂回來。」 進屋後，果見男女主人一團和氣，兩個孩子大方有禮，溫馨、和諧充盈著整個屋子。 我自然詢問起那塊木牌，女主人笑著望向男主人：「你說。」 男主人則溫柔地瞅向女主人：「還是你說，因為這是你的創意。」
最終，女主人輕緩地說開了：「有一回我回家，在電梯的鏡子, 看到一張睏倦、 灰暗的臉，一雙緊擰的眉毛，煩惱的眼睛…… 把我自己嚇了一大跳。 於是，我想， 當孩子、丈夫面對這樣愁苦陰沈的面孔時，會有什麼感覺？
假如我面對的也是這樣的面孔，又會有什麼反應？
我想到孩子在餐桌上的沈默、丈夫的冷淡…第二天我就寫了一塊方木牌釘在門上以提醒自己。
結果，提醒的不只是我而是一家人，奇蹟就這樣出現了。
而且，不僅是我們一家人，到我家的客人也都變得歡歡喜喜……」
好有智慧、好可愛的女人。
天下的好與壞， 幸與不幸，快樂與痛苦，常常是一體的兩面。
一念之間的轉換，就呈現出截然不同的世界。
心若改變，態度就會改變；態度改變，習慣就會改變；習慣改變，人生就會改變。
改命改運不如改個性，個性一改 ~ 福氣自然來。
--------
I visit a friend at his house. On the main entrance, there is a little board saying "Before entering, take off the worries, bring happiness home"
After I got into the house, the family members there really were happy. The environment is so peace and warm. I asked about the board. The hostess told me the story. On one day when she went home, she saw her tiring and anxious face in the lift mirror. She was shocked. She asked herself what will be her husband and children reaction if they ever see this face. She also asked herself how would she react if she see similar face of others. Then she thought about the children and husband silence during dinner...On the next day, she make the board and hang it on the door to remind herself.
Apparently, the board remind not only her but the whole family. Ever since then, the family relationship has improved and more happy.
What a cute lady.
There is always just a tiny cross line between good vs bad, lucky vs unlucky, happy vs worry. It is all about the thought, if we change our mind, the world will be different.
If we change our mindset, the altitude will changed, then the habit will changed, lastly our life will be changed.
到一個朋友家去做客，出了電梯， 見門口赫然掛了一塊小木牌， 上書：「進門前，請脫去煩惱；回家時，帶快樂回來。」 進屋後，果見男女主人一團和氣，兩個孩子大方有禮，溫馨、和諧充盈著整個屋子。 我自然詢問起那塊木牌，女主人笑著望向男主人：「你說。」 男主人則溫柔地瞅向女主人：「還是你說，因為這是你的創意。」
最終，女主人輕緩地說開了：「有一回我回家，在電梯的鏡子, 看到一張睏倦、 灰暗的臉，一雙緊擰的眉毛，煩惱的眼睛…… 把我自己嚇了一大跳。 於是，我想， 當孩子、丈夫面對這樣愁苦陰沈的面孔時，會有什麼感覺？
假如我面對的也是這樣的面孔，又會有什麼反應？
我想到孩子在餐桌上的沈默、丈夫的冷淡…第二天我就寫了一塊方木牌釘在門上以提醒自己。
結果，提醒的不只是我而是一家人，奇蹟就這樣出現了。
而且，不僅是我們一家人，到我家的客人也都變得歡歡喜喜……」
好有智慧、好可愛的女人。
天下的好與壞， 幸與不幸，快樂與痛苦，常常是一體的兩面。
一念之間的轉換，就呈現出截然不同的世界。
心若改變，態度就會改變；態度改變，習慣就會改變；習慣改變，人生就會改變。
改命改運不如改個性，個性一改 ~ 福氣自然來。
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Ayah
A forwarded joke from email :p
-------------------------------------
A man came home from work and his children ran to him and called out ‘Ayah! Ayah!’.
His neighbor got very upset and said to him, “Can you please tell your children not to call you ‘Ayah’?” The man asked, “Why?”
The neighbor retorted, “Because my children call me ’Ayah’ too. They might get confused and mistake you to be their father.”
Then the man told his neighbour, are you not ashamed to say that your children do not know who is their 'Ayah'.So you are saying by using the word 'Ayah' ,your children will call me ayah too without knowing who their father is.
The neighbour said yes,only I should use the word 'Ayah'.
The man said, then there is something wrong in what you are teaching your children.They are not sure and do not know who is their 'Ayah'.
-------------------------------------
A man came home from work and his children ran to him and called out ‘Ayah! Ayah!’.
His neighbor got very upset and said to him, “Can you please tell your children not to call you ‘Ayah’?” The man asked, “Why?”
The neighbor retorted, “Because my children call me ’Ayah’ too. They might get confused and mistake you to be their father.”
Then the man told his neighbour, are you not ashamed to say that your children do not know who is their 'Ayah'.So you are saying by using the word 'Ayah' ,your children will call me ayah too without knowing who their father is.
The neighbour said yes,only I should use the word 'Ayah'.
The man said, then there is something wrong in what you are teaching your children.They are not sure and do not know who is their 'Ayah'.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Have a seat, please :)
This is a forwarded picture from a friend, I think this is meaningful :D Click on the picture and enjoy your seat.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Paradox of Our Age - by Dr. Bob Moorehead
As I mentioned I will share this. Enjoy :)
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Snippet copied from http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/moorehead.shtml
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Snippet copied from http://www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/moorehead.shtml
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A story
This is a forwarded email available in both English and Chinese version, hope it can keep your heart warm for the rest of the day and keep a balance life :D
-------------------------------------------------------------
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have fail to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my kid, and failed to be the dad and mum for my kid.
There was one particular day, when i had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'.... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheets and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasnt anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But i remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence i turn on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till u return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I din want my son to see his dad crying...so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries....
After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy....
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regrets. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...xmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble.. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called.. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well.. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
-------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have fail to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my kid, and failed to be the dad and mum for my kid.
There was one particular day, when i had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.
With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'.... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheets and blanket!
Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and there wasnt anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But i remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence i turn on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till u return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."
At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I din want my son to see his dad crying...so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries....
After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy....
A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.
However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regrets. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....
Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practice his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!
Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by...xmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble.. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called.. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.
His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.
My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say....
I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.
And one of the letters broke my heart....
Dear Mummy,
I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well.. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?
After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....
For the females with children:
Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem. Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.
For the married men:
Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.
Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable.
Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.
For those singles out there:
Beauty lies in loving yourself first.
With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.
-------------------------------------------------------------
我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我也因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折。有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒有睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門去了。
為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好。有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡短地和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下。就在那個時候，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單和被單，原來有碗泡麵在棉被裡！這小子真是的，說時遲那時快，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以不停地打他。但就在這個時候，他邊啜泣邊說了一段話，使我停了下來。
兒子告訴我說：「飯鍋裡的飯早上已經吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還不回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵。可是我想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃。因為怕泡麵涼掉，所以我就把它放在棉被裡，等你回來。可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講。」
我不想讓兒子看到我在流淚，所以衝到洗手間，將水龍頭打開，大聲地哭。過了一陣子之後，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面也在他屁股上擦藥，讓他上床睡覺。當我清理好泡麵弄髒的床單和棉被後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍舊發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片。我把頭靠在房門站了許久，看著這一幕。
自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心地去照顧他。現在兒子快七歲了，不久後就要從幼稚園畢業，進入國小讀書。慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗地成長。
就在不久前，我再一次打孩子，因為幼稚園來電話說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大聲地喊他的名字，卻是遍尋不著。後來在文具店的門?f，看見他站在電玩的前面，於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他。兒子並沒有說出任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起。後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去
看才藝表演的日子。
發生這些事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園裡學了寫字，從此他經常關在自己的房間裡不出來，很認真地寫字。我看到兒子這個樣子，想到妻子在天國也一定會因為看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水。
時間很快，又過了一年，到了冬天，街頭上都在播放著聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍。我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一綑沒有寫地址的信，惡作劇地放在郵筒裡。每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾。雖然我已決定不再打孩子，但在急忙趕回家後，叫了兒子來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓。兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由。我把他推到一個角落，不管了，自個兒跑到郵局領回那一綑惡作劇的信。我把信丟到他眼前說：「你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？」兒子哭著回答說：「這些信是我要寄給媽媽的。」
當時我的眼眶紅了起來，心裡很激動，但是因為在兒子面前，所以我盡量隱忍住沒有表現出來。我接著問他：「那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？」兒子回答說：「以前我要把信投進去的時候，因為個兒太矮，所以沒辦法投入，但是最近我再去郵筒時，已經搆得到了，所以我就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部都投進入了。」
我聽了以後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話。過了不久以後，我就跟他說：「媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去。」等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信。我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信。
而當中有一封信攪動了我的心。
親愛的媽媽：
我很想念你！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但是因為我沒有媽媽，所以沒有去參加，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽。爸爸到處去找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到我很開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具面前，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我到最後也沒有告訴他原因。媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很想念媽媽吧！但是，媽，我現在已經記不清楚你的臉。媽媽，請你讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到你的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人。可是，媽媽，為什麼你沒有出現在我的夢裡呢？」
讀完這封信以後，我就開始嚎啕大哭。到底什麼時候，我才能填補妻子的空位呢？
給 已經結婚的女同事：
不要加太多班，工作做不完，一定是公司的某些地方出問題了，一定要將問題反應給妳的老闆，一直加班也不見的有用的，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝。
給 已經結婚的男同事：
不要喝太多酒，不要抽太多煙，請問我們的生意，我們的客戶，有比我們的身體重要嗎？
一定要想一想，有沒有辦法做到客人非我們不行，我們的差異化在哪裡，我們是否真的懂客人的心，這比拼命喝酒，還重要，請務必要照顧自己的身體，才可以好好疼惜妳的小寶貝和你的愛人。
給 還沒有結婚的男同事和女同事：
美其實是從愛自己的身體開始 --（蔣勳，身體美學）。
無入而不自得 -- （孔子）。
妳/你們一定要很自在，工作才能做的好，如果工作讓你/妳們的心情做的很辛苦，代表的是我們的公司不夠聰明，那也是公司什麼地方不對了，要勇敢的說出來，不要讓不聰明的工作與老闆，傷害了妳/你們的身體。
Friday, July 17, 2009
Perished heart
The translated version of previous story blog post.
_______________
Last year, a friend of mine committed to suicide. He is a young Phd holder, employed by a very good company. His wife is a Phd holder in Psychology. I cannot understand the reason he put a full stop to his life. His medical records revealed his serious depression problem. A normal human like me and others, live every day; but there were people who holds to their strong believes and dreams, either continue to chase it, or suicide.
Frequently, there were friends advices to hold a Balanced Life, between life and career.
If you work for 14 hours, seldom talk to your family after that, do you think that is a balanced life? Luckily I don’t. I always feel a walk with family, watch TV together, cook for them and etc are the most precious and enjoyable moment.
Yesterday, a friend forwarded me story. In a temple, a senior monk always offers food to a dog named “Let go” every 6pm. When the sun is almost set, he will always call Let Go and offers the food. The junior monk was puzzled about the dog’s name. They approach the senior and tried to get the answer. The senior just smile and want the junior to find out the answer by himself. After few days, the junior found out after senior offers the food, he will do some Tai Chi Quan exercise; take some walk, instead of keep reading chants. The senior is glad about the findings and explained, “I am so glad you realize it. Whenever I call Let Go, I am also asking myself to let go, let go of some works. A human cannot finish everything in a day, but we should have completed the most important thing in that day itself, and that is good enough.”
Human is getting to more competitive life, which on the other hand shows the importance of Let Go. Whenever you face a problem, just put your hand back, the sky won’t fall, the earth keep spinning and life goes on. This is not lazy, but people who know how to Let Go at right timing and appropriate situation, will be the life winner. In contrast, a man who busy for whole day, usually brings only tiring and worries with him along.
This reminded me on another stories about African.
A western research team went to Africa and hires few locals to be local guide. They need to rush for the journey. Fortunately the locals are fit to walk fast while carrying heavy luggage. The progress went well for the first three days and everyone are happy. On the fourth day morning, the locals refused to continue the journey, no matter how the research team requested. The research team wondered if they offense the locals, or they want a raise in the fee? The locals explained, according to their tradition, if one rushed for journey for three days, he must stop on the fourth day, to let the soul to catch up with the steps.
In this modern world, this seems to be a superstition thought. But I was touched deep in my heart. We are all busy with life. Works and pressures chase us to rush for our journey, caused us seldom stop and leave our soul far behind.
Without our soul, we are just controlled by the outside world, where goes our inner world?
Weekend is coming soon, shall we give ourselves a break, wait for our soul to catch up with us?
In Chinese writing, busy 忙 consist of two parts: 心(heart) and 亡(perish).
A ‘perished heart’, is equal to a human without a soul.
_______________
Last year, a friend of mine committed to suicide. He is a young Phd holder, employed by a very good company. His wife is a Phd holder in Psychology. I cannot understand the reason he put a full stop to his life. His medical records revealed his serious depression problem. A normal human like me and others, live every day; but there were people who holds to their strong believes and dreams, either continue to chase it, or suicide.
Frequently, there were friends advices to hold a Balanced Life, between life and career.
If you work for 14 hours, seldom talk to your family after that, do you think that is a balanced life? Luckily I don’t. I always feel a walk with family, watch TV together, cook for them and etc are the most precious and enjoyable moment.
Yesterday, a friend forwarded me story. In a temple, a senior monk always offers food to a dog named “Let go” every 6pm. When the sun is almost set, he will always call Let Go and offers the food. The junior monk was puzzled about the dog’s name. They approach the senior and tried to get the answer. The senior just smile and want the junior to find out the answer by himself. After few days, the junior found out after senior offers the food, he will do some Tai Chi Quan exercise; take some walk, instead of keep reading chants. The senior is glad about the findings and explained, “I am so glad you realize it. Whenever I call Let Go, I am also asking myself to let go, let go of some works. A human cannot finish everything in a day, but we should have completed the most important thing in that day itself, and that is good enough.”
Human is getting to more competitive life, which on the other hand shows the importance of Let Go. Whenever you face a problem, just put your hand back, the sky won’t fall, the earth keep spinning and life goes on. This is not lazy, but people who know how to Let Go at right timing and appropriate situation, will be the life winner. In contrast, a man who busy for whole day, usually brings only tiring and worries with him along.
This reminded me on another stories about African.
A western research team went to Africa and hires few locals to be local guide. They need to rush for the journey. Fortunately the locals are fit to walk fast while carrying heavy luggage. The progress went well for the first three days and everyone are happy. On the fourth day morning, the locals refused to continue the journey, no matter how the research team requested. The research team wondered if they offense the locals, or they want a raise in the fee? The locals explained, according to their tradition, if one rushed for journey for three days, he must stop on the fourth day, to let the soul to catch up with the steps.
In this modern world, this seems to be a superstition thought. But I was touched deep in my heart. We are all busy with life. Works and pressures chase us to rush for our journey, caused us seldom stop and leave our soul far behind.
Without our soul, we are just controlled by the outside world, where goes our inner world?
Weekend is coming soon, shall we give ourselves a break, wait for our soul to catch up with us?
In Chinese writing, busy 忙 consist of two parts: 心(heart) and 亡(perish).
A ‘perished heart’, is equal to a human without a soul.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
“心”己“亡”
A meaningful story from forwarded e-mail. Translation version will be uploaded soon :D
去年，我的一個朋友也選擇了結束生命。
他是清華大學的博士，年輕，而且一畢業就進入了非常好的公司工作，妻子在讀心理學博士。
從我的角度看，實在不知道能有什麼想不開，但他的病歷明確地告訴大家，他有很嚴重的憂鬱症。
但像我這樣的庸人，往往會看還有比我更不如意的，然後就心滿意足地洗洗睡了。
而對自己的理想很堅持的人，要不就繼續與現實衝撞下去，要不就選擇結束生命。
其實，不時地有朋友發信過來，叫我注意，生活與事業的平衡，也就是Balanced Life。
如果每天工作14小時、回家跟親人說不上幾句話，你覺得生活平衡嗎？好在我不是這樣。我一直覺得業餘時間在家陪親人散步、看電視、給親人做飯等是最大的享受，因此覺得自己的生活還是平衡的。
但前天我讀MBA時候的同學發來的信還是叫我感慨不已：
一间著名的寺院裡住著一位非常有道行的道長。他每天都要在傍晚6時去餵他的狗。狗的名字很奇怪，叫做‘放下’。每到日落時分，靜修道長就為‘放下’送飯了，嘴一邊呼喚著：“放下！放下！”
小弟子覺得很奇怪，就問道長：“為什麼要給狗起這個奇怪的名字？人家的狗都叫阿黃、來福什麼的，為什麼您的狗叫‘放下’？”
靜修道長不語，讓他們自己去悟。小弟子就觀察老道長，終於發現：每天當道長餵完狗後，就不再讀經書，到院中打打太極拳，散散步。小弟子到道長面前，訴說了他們觀察的收穫。
老道長微笑地點點頭說：“你們終於明白了。其實我在叫狗的時候，其實也是叫自己‘放下’，讓自己放下許多事情。因為人們不可能在一天內做完所有的事情，你只要將一天中最重要的事情做完就已足夠了。”
在人們越來越習慣動輒高呼殘酷競爭時，其實學會‘放下’的意義就越大。正仿佛當你自覺遭遇滅頂挫折時，不妨手搭涼棚，你一定會發現：天並不會塌下來。這並不是不求上進，恰恰在於懂得放下的，才最終會贏；而整日忙碌不休的人，收穫的往往只是焦慮和疲憊。
就在今天，在我看到這位女記者的事情之前，我又看到了這樣一個故事：
有一支西方的考察隊深入非洲腹地考察，請了當地部落的土著人做背伕和嚮導，由於時間緊，需趕路，而這些土著人很吃苦耐勞，背著幾十公斤的裝備物資依然健步如飛，一連三天，考察隊都很順利地按計劃行進，大家都很開心。可是第四天早上，考察隊準備出發的時候，土著人們都在休息不走了，好說歹說就是不願出發。隊員們觉得很奇怪，這幾天大家相處得很好啊，是不小心觸犯了他們，還是要坐地加錢？
這時，土著人的頭領解釋道：
按照他們的傳統，如果連續三天趕路，第四天必須停下來休息一天，以免我們的靈魂趕不上我們的腳步。
這個現代人也許看來很難理解的解釋，讓我很受觸動。我們的生活太忙碌了，工作和生活的壓力，讓我們日復一日地在趕路，以至於我們很少停下來，思考一下，就不斷地被很多東西推著走，或者追逐著眼前的東西而去，而我們的靈魂早已落後在我們匆匆趕路的身影後面，無影無蹤。
沒有了自己，我們的生活就交給了外物去控制。
又到了一周，我們是不是也放緩腳步，等一等我們的靈魂？
~~~忙~~~
如同…“心”己“亡”。
也如同…一個人沒了靈魂。
去年，我的一個朋友也選擇了結束生命。
他是清華大學的博士，年輕，而且一畢業就進入了非常好的公司工作，妻子在讀心理學博士。
從我的角度看，實在不知道能有什麼想不開，但他的病歷明確地告訴大家，他有很嚴重的憂鬱症。
但像我這樣的庸人，往往會看還有比我更不如意的，然後就心滿意足地洗洗睡了。
而對自己的理想很堅持的人，要不就繼續與現實衝撞下去，要不就選擇結束生命。
其實，不時地有朋友發信過來，叫我注意，生活與事業的平衡，也就是Balanced Life。
如果每天工作14小時、回家跟親人說不上幾句話，你覺得生活平衡嗎？好在我不是這樣。我一直覺得業餘時間在家陪親人散步、看電視、給親人做飯等是最大的享受，因此覺得自己的生活還是平衡的。
但前天我讀MBA時候的同學發來的信還是叫我感慨不已：
一间著名的寺院裡住著一位非常有道行的道長。他每天都要在傍晚6時去餵他的狗。狗的名字很奇怪，叫做‘放下’。每到日落時分，靜修道長就為‘放下’送飯了，嘴一邊呼喚著：“放下！放下！”
小弟子覺得很奇怪，就問道長：“為什麼要給狗起這個奇怪的名字？人家的狗都叫阿黃、來福什麼的，為什麼您的狗叫‘放下’？”
靜修道長不語，讓他們自己去悟。小弟子就觀察老道長，終於發現：每天當道長餵完狗後，就不再讀經書，到院中打打太極拳，散散步。小弟子到道長面前，訴說了他們觀察的收穫。
老道長微笑地點點頭說：“你們終於明白了。其實我在叫狗的時候，其實也是叫自己‘放下’，讓自己放下許多事情。因為人們不可能在一天內做完所有的事情，你只要將一天中最重要的事情做完就已足夠了。”
在人們越來越習慣動輒高呼殘酷競爭時，其實學會‘放下’的意義就越大。正仿佛當你自覺遭遇滅頂挫折時，不妨手搭涼棚，你一定會發現：天並不會塌下來。這並不是不求上進，恰恰在於懂得放下的，才最終會贏；而整日忙碌不休的人，收穫的往往只是焦慮和疲憊。
就在今天，在我看到這位女記者的事情之前，我又看到了這樣一個故事：
有一支西方的考察隊深入非洲腹地考察，請了當地部落的土著人做背伕和嚮導，由於時間緊，需趕路，而這些土著人很吃苦耐勞，背著幾十公斤的裝備物資依然健步如飛，一連三天，考察隊都很順利地按計劃行進，大家都很開心。可是第四天早上，考察隊準備出發的時候，土著人們都在休息不走了，好說歹說就是不願出發。隊員們觉得很奇怪，這幾天大家相處得很好啊，是不小心觸犯了他們，還是要坐地加錢？
這時，土著人的頭領解釋道：
按照他們的傳統，如果連續三天趕路，第四天必須停下來休息一天，以免我們的靈魂趕不上我們的腳步。
這個現代人也許看來很難理解的解釋，讓我很受觸動。我們的生活太忙碌了，工作和生活的壓力，讓我們日復一日地在趕路，以至於我們很少停下來，思考一下，就不斷地被很多東西推著走，或者追逐著眼前的東西而去，而我們的靈魂早已落後在我們匆匆趕路的身影後面，無影無蹤。
沒有了自己，我們的生活就交給了外物去控制。
又到了一周，我們是不是也放緩腳步，等一等我們的靈魂？
~~~忙~~~
如同…“心”己“亡”。
也如同…一個人沒了靈魂。
Friday, April 24, 2009
一个听来的故事
又是说故事时间：）
话说在一千年前，哗，这么老套，爱睡了吧：）
言归正传，从转载邮件看到的一个故事，（谢谢Jennie哦）：
一對夫婦在婚後十一年生了一個男孩，夫妻恩愛，男孩自然是二人的寶。
男孩兩歲的某一天，丈夫在出門上班之際，看到桌上有一藥瓶打開了，不過因為趕時間，他只揚聲妻子把藥瓶收好，然後就關上門上班去。
妻子在廚房忙得團團轉，就忘了丈夫的叮囑。男孩拿藥瓶,覺得好奇、又被藥水的顏色所吸引，於是一飲而盡。
藥水成份厲害，即使成人服用也只能用少量。男孩OD（Overdose服藥過量），被送到醫院後，返魂乏術。
妻子被事實嚇呆了，不知如何面對丈夫。緊張的父親趕到醫院，得知噩耗非常傷心，看兒子的屍體，望了妻子一眼，然後說了四個字。
作者叫讀者猜，
這丈夫說了四個甚麼字？
答案是：
「I love you, darling!」
作者說：這反應是 Proactive 的（即反過來控制局面，而不被局面控制）。
作者亦盛讚這丈夫是人類關係的天才，因為兒子的死已成事實，再吵再罵也不會改變事實，只惹來更多的傷心，而且不只自己失去兒子，妻子也失去兒子。
這故事，主旨是彰顯人類選擇的自我層次 ，同一件不幸事你可以怨天尤人，
痛罵社會，甚至自責無窮，但事情卻不因這些而改變，這一切只改變了你和日後的生活，負著疤痕的活下去。
反之，放下怨恨和懼怕，放下過去，勇敢的活下去，事情的境況原來並不如想像中壞，這就是作者所說的Proactive Behavior，
也就是我們所說的由人轉境 ，而不是被外界事物牽著走 。很簡短的故事，
但是，有多少人能做到呢？
當我看到那句' I love you, darling! ' 的時候，心中感概萬千......多麼簡單的一句話，但要有多久的修練，多大的包容，多深的人生智慧，才能在那種時刻說出如此令人動容的一句話。
每個人都有不想讓人所知的不幸事，自己選擇了什麼方式去面對，又怎麼去面對未來，以及週邊的人事物...
與你分享我的感想也祝福朋友你永遠順心喜樂！
1.遇到你真的愛的人時
努力爭取和他相伴一生的機會!因為當他離去時.一切都來不及了....
2.遇到可相信的朋友時
要好好和他相處下去。因為在人的一生中.可遇到知己真的不易
3.遇到人生中的貴人時
要記得好好感激。因為他是你人生的轉折點
4.遇到曾經愛過的人時
記得微笑向他感激。因為他是讓你更懂愛的人
5.遇到曾經恨過的人時
要微笑向他打招呼。因為他讓你更加堅強
6..遇到曾經背叛你的人時
要跟他好好聊一聊。因為若不是他今天你不會懂這世界
7.遇到曾經偷偷喜歡的人時
要祝他幸福唷!因為你喜歡他時.不是希望他幸福快樂嗎？
8.遇到匆匆離開你人生的人時
要謝謝他走過你的人生。 因為他是你精采回憶的一部分
9.遇到曾經和你有誤會的人時
要趁現在解清誤會。 因為你可能只有這一次機會解釋清楚
10.遇到現在的伴侶
要百分百感謝他愛你。 因為你們現在都得到幸福和真愛
故事说完了，希望您读的开心，活得开心 ：）
话说在一千年前，哗，这么老套，爱睡了吧：）
言归正传，从转载邮件看到的一个故事，（谢谢Jennie哦）：
一對夫婦在婚後十一年生了一個男孩，夫妻恩愛，男孩自然是二人的寶。
男孩兩歲的某一天，丈夫在出門上班之際，看到桌上有一藥瓶打開了，不過因為趕時間，他只揚聲妻子把藥瓶收好，然後就關上門上班去。
妻子在廚房忙得團團轉，就忘了丈夫的叮囑。男孩拿藥瓶,覺得好奇、又被藥水的顏色所吸引，於是一飲而盡。
藥水成份厲害，即使成人服用也只能用少量。男孩OD（Overdose服藥過量），被送到醫院後，返魂乏術。
妻子被事實嚇呆了，不知如何面對丈夫。緊張的父親趕到醫院，得知噩耗非常傷心，看兒子的屍體，望了妻子一眼，然後說了四個字。
作者叫讀者猜，
這丈夫說了四個甚麼字？
答案是：
「I love you, darling!」
作者說：這反應是 Proactive 的（即反過來控制局面，而不被局面控制）。
作者亦盛讚這丈夫是人類關係的天才，因為兒子的死已成事實，再吵再罵也不會改變事實，只惹來更多的傷心，而且不只自己失去兒子，妻子也失去兒子。
這故事，主旨是彰顯人類選擇的自我層次 ，同一件不幸事你可以怨天尤人，
痛罵社會，甚至自責無窮，但事情卻不因這些而改變，這一切只改變了你和日後的生活，負著疤痕的活下去。
反之，放下怨恨和懼怕，放下過去，勇敢的活下去，事情的境況原來並不如想像中壞，這就是作者所說的Proactive Behavior，
也就是我們所說的由人轉境 ，而不是被外界事物牽著走 。很簡短的故事，
但是，有多少人能做到呢？
當我看到那句' I love you, darling! ' 的時候，心中感概萬千......多麼簡單的一句話，但要有多久的修練，多大的包容，多深的人生智慧，才能在那種時刻說出如此令人動容的一句話。
每個人都有不想讓人所知的不幸事，自己選擇了什麼方式去面對，又怎麼去面對未來，以及週邊的人事物...
與你分享我的感想也祝福朋友你永遠順心喜樂！
1.遇到你真的愛的人時
努力爭取和他相伴一生的機會!因為當他離去時.一切都來不及了....
2.遇到可相信的朋友時
要好好和他相處下去。因為在人的一生中.可遇到知己真的不易
3.遇到人生中的貴人時
要記得好好感激。因為他是你人生的轉折點
4.遇到曾經愛過的人時
記得微笑向他感激。因為他是讓你更懂愛的人
5.遇到曾經恨過的人時
要微笑向他打招呼。因為他讓你更加堅強
6..遇到曾經背叛你的人時
要跟他好好聊一聊。因為若不是他今天你不會懂這世界
7.遇到曾經偷偷喜歡的人時
要祝他幸福唷!因為你喜歡他時.不是希望他幸福快樂嗎？
8.遇到匆匆離開你人生的人時
要謝謝他走過你的人生。 因為他是你精采回憶的一部分
9.遇到曾經和你有誤會的人時
要趁現在解清誤會。 因為你可能只有這一次機會解釋清楚
10.遇到現在的伴侶
要百分百感謝他愛你。 因為你們現在都得到幸福和真愛
故事说完了，希望您读的开心，活得开心 ：）
Thursday, November 20, 2008
我的家庭真可爱
http://www.sinchew.com.my/node/91144?tid=1
-------------------------------------------------------
想给大家说一个故事。
*本故事纯属虚构，如有雷同纯属巧合*
一个家庭有二个孩子。他们在同样的环境长大。大儿子有一些额外的特权（没有什么特别原因，就只因为是大儿子嘛）。
时间过去了，二儿子勤奋努力工作，在工作上取得好成绩。相反的，大儿子滥用了他的特权，游手好闲，无所成就。当大儿子看到二儿子的成就时，却眼红了起来， 说这个家不像属于大儿子的，因为二儿子比他有成就。所以大儿子要求更多特权，甚至要争夺属于二儿子辛辛苦苦赚取回来的钱财。如果你是外人/父母，你会怎么 看这件事情？很可惜，为了某种原因，或许是为了分享大儿子从二儿子榨夺得钱财，很多人都站在大儿子的身边，而且变本加厉，直指二儿子的不是。
请问，公平在那里？人性在那里？大儿子的脑袋在那里？大儿子狗朋狐党的良心在那里？
------------------------------------------------------------------------
请好好想一想，你无权选择你的父母，但是你有一些基本人权的选择。
-------------------------------------------------------
想给大家说一个故事。
*本故事纯属虚构，如有雷同纯属巧合*
一个家庭有二个孩子。他们在同样的环境长大。大儿子有一些额外的特权（没有什么特别原因，就只因为是大儿子嘛）。
时间过去了，二儿子勤奋努力工作，在工作上取得好成绩。相反的，大儿子滥用了他的特权，游手好闲，无所成就。当大儿子看到二儿子的成就时，却眼红了起来， 说这个家不像属于大儿子的，因为二儿子比他有成就。所以大儿子要求更多特权，甚至要争夺属于二儿子辛辛苦苦赚取回来的钱财。如果你是外人/父母，你会怎么 看这件事情？很可惜，为了某种原因，或许是为了分享大儿子从二儿子榨夺得钱财，很多人都站在大儿子的身边，而且变本加厉，直指二儿子的不是。
请问，公平在那里？人性在那里？大儿子的脑袋在那里？大儿子狗朋狐党的良心在那里？
------------------------------------------------------------------------
请好好想一想，你无权选择你的父母，但是你有一些基本人权的选择。
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.gif)
